On Being ‘Good’

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On Being ‘Good’

This is a topic I’ve been burning to write about. You, and all of us, fall prey to it : the notion of being or ‘becoming’ good. 

Too often do we feel we could be and do better. You may have gotten on the path of self development yourself and are enjoying the wonderful fruits of this particular labour. It truly is an amazing process: you can change your life,  you can change other people’s lives, you can clear yourself of old pain, and allow the seed of your potential to consciously grow, the one that has always lived within you – you just weren’t as aware of it all before.

I am obviously a huge endorser of this process, having been engaged with it for as long as I can remember, and having been a healer for more than a decade now, it’s what I encourage in others, with the same kind of enthusiasm I’ve always had for this subject matter .

BUT – and there’s a huge but, I do not endorse the path of becoming a ‘good’ person. There’s, I find, a huge difference between a good person, and a conscious person.

What I’m talking about is this. A good person will take on their ideology, it’ll be expressed like a religion and will be somewhat forced upon others. A good person may use the language of his or her ideology, will sabotage him or herself for not measuring up to the ‘spiritual’ or ‘scientific’ or ‘religious’ or, may I say, ‘good health’ standard, when it happens.

I’m talking about the good buddhist, good wellness coach, good healer, student or the good health professional or other leader, etc. – who may even say things like: “I never get sick.”;  “I don’t get angry anymore.” ; “I treat people only with love.” ; “I used to xxx but now I’m free.” It’s the same person who may see him or herself on this pedestal, using it to put down others, who may not have chosen the path of becoming good.

And being ‘good’ won’t stay good enough, or will it?

I am talking about humans who have declared themselves to be Super-Human and Super-Positive and are more and more afraid to admit that they may have a bad day; that a horrible feeling of insecurity, anger or doubt can strike any moment, and that it’ll be a hidden one.

In an endeavour to become ‘good’, we’ve forgotten to be real. Denying emotions, taking on a coat of a particular identity, we may lock ourselves out of our real internal states. It may even become harder and harder to access what is really going on inside. Distancing ourselves, believing we are actually freeing ourselves. Outsmarting ourselves really, with ideologies that aren’t digging deep enough.

With so many beautiful books on new leading schools of thought, health, fitness, spirituality and science out there we sometimes forget to find our own truths. We can resonate with the new arising states of global consciousness so deeply that we neglect our own paths.

Too often do I find people in my practice who are giving themselves the hardest of times because they find themselves in trouble, “even though I am….”. We somewhat believe that we get disqualified from pain because of the training we’ve undergone in our self development journey. It’s the same if someone says “I’ve been so good, so why is this happening to me??”. And I’m definitely talking about all the “I should be … by now!!”

Instead of looking for the quick fixes of becoming a better version of yourself, get onto the longer lasting path of becoming real. You may be spiritual and still swear and have a beer sometimes. There are no rules to becoming the true version of yourself that is free of any ideology, free of the latest movement and free of any authoritative’s way of being.

You can indeed be an angry person, be passionate and really make a positive difference in your and other people’s lives. You may be a highly advanced soul and you may also be grieving.

So, please, don’t try to mould yourself and just be refreshingly you, just as you are.  And let me tell you, from a Chinese Medicine perspective, this is indeed a process worth following. It’s following your TAO – your way.

I could really go on about this from many different angles, but I much rather hear what you have to say about this subject. Please feel free to comment 🙂

Much love,

Olivia

 

Comments ( 2 )

  • Julia

    Thanks for the article Olivia. I’ve had a few dreams about this lately, most so about not “being good”. A great message. Thank you.

    • Olivia Shurdova

      Thanks so much for your comment and sharing your experience, Julia!
      We can indeed feel haunted by the what we feel is in alignment of being good and ultimately what we feel isn’t. That kind of path of self-development is very church-like where we may feel we sin if we aren’t measuring up and we punish ourselves for it, too, don’t we! We may even keep punishing ourselves for not accepting ourselves and on it goes, this vicious cycle is never ending. It’s a good practice to discern between the stern voice of ideology in our minds and to the pure, raw emotion felt or thoughts experienced, etc. That way we can stay open to change as well 🙂
      Warmest,
      Olivia

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